What do you do when life spins out of control, and you can’t seem to stop the chaos thrown at you?
Sometimes that is easier said then done.
In June I was blogging, working and living life. It’s been a struggle the past couple years but I was getting through it. Then July hit….and I mean like a ton of bricks. Better yet make it boulders.
Since July 1 I have dealt with an accident, a vacation (a stressful one), still dealing with a 2 yr divorce battle, entertaining company for two weeks, redoing a kitchen (not mine), working to the point I only have 1 day a month off and severe anxiety and panic attacks.
Maybe life is telling me to slow down.
Maybe life is telling me to get back to doing what I love and relax.
Maybe I can’t take on as much as I used to.
Maybe…just maybe I’m not superwoman anymore.
Have you ever felt anxiety so bad you couldn’t leave the house? It’s a horrible, uncontrollable feeling. Your heart starts racing, hands trembling, sweating, chest tightens, get a tingling feeling all over your whole body, the feeling of vomiting and then you burst out crying. Now it’s a full blown panic attack.
I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression for over 20+ yrs and this is the worst I’ve ever had them. The panic attacks are starting to leave me helpless. They will come on for unknown reasons but I usually know what triggers them.
*crowds (it’s a smothering feeling and it’s like the world is spinning around me)
*strange places (I panic when I have to walk into a strange place)
*meeting new people (Holy anxiety…I’m a hairstylist and I can’t even take new clients)
*a messy house (The panic and anxiety when my house is a mess will result in me not leaving my house at times. If I’m at work I start to panic that I need to be home cleaning)
*something missing or out of order (I get severe anxiety if something is not put back or is out of place)
*small spaces (I’m very claustrophobic)
*BIRDS (ABSOLUTELY AFRAID)
*storms (If it storms and I’m alone I go into a total panic)
*being disorganized (Everything has to have a place. If I can’t find what I’m looking for I turn into a raging lunatic)
How do I control this uncontrollable feeling? Your guess is as good as mine. I’m take anti-depressants, anxiety meds and sleeping aids. I’ve been on almost everything.
Now for my next HUGE step. I’m going to seek professional help. I would never admit to something being wrong. I thought it would pass and I will be OK. I’d say I’m fine it’s just a little stress. Well, today I had a break down and heading to my family Dr. for the next step. I have a “real” medical problem and I’m not ashamed of it.
I do need help and I’m ready to get it!
Just remember to “Just Breathe”, everything is going to be OK!
Thanks for visiting! Let’s keep in touch!!
You can read about my divorce story here
You can read about my depression here
~Design your life with a little SPARKLE~